Always On Your Side

It has been an interesting week. I began substitute teaching in Fairfax County, had Grey's Anatomy night with Julie, and its finally beginning to sink in that I am here... back on the east coast. Back in the place I ran from full speed only three and half years ago.

God sure does have a sense of humor.

The best I can do is take it one day at a time. Thomas is being more than loving and patient with his fiance who seems to be on her own personal amusement park ride. I know God is going to use this time to grow me, to grow Thomas... to grow us together but it doesn't mean it is easy.

I have to keep reminding myself that though this is painful and difficult, so is most change... and I am safe here in the center of Gods Will for my life. The only thing I am sure of is that I am supposed to be here... I have no clue about the rest. It seems that guiding voice from heaven, that boomed most of my life and gave me clear cut direction and goals, has been very quiet and still lately. Allowing me to become uncomfortable in my own skin and with my own uncertainty. I don't have a plan in all honesty. I know I want to be here, that I am called to this place, that I am called to be Thomas Wear's wife, that he is called to serve me and love me... but everything else is a mystery to me. So here I am waiting on the Lord... and not always gracefully. I often find myself acting like a spoiled child not getting her way, throwing tantrums, whining and complaining about the difficulties that lay in front of me... instead of looking up and seeing the abundance and blessings being put in my very own hands. Its funny how sometimes we cant see past our selves. So God has to refine us and put us through the fire to make us pure and beautiful.




In other news: It is nice to have weekends free, not have to do homework, go out dancing as a couple, and just hang out on nights like tonight - renting movies making dinner and eating my new favorite ice cream: Half Baked by Ben and Jerry's... AH-MAZE-ING!